So much happening so fast...

[cat03]

can I say it? what an a$$, it still baffles me how the WAS can be so stupid and inconsiderate, grrrrrrrr!!!

OK, I'm sorry, you didnt come here to have your H trashed.

YES, there is hope!!! even if he was away for a bit and you (great db'ing!!) didn't run after him he realized "hey, maybe this is not what I want!"
The adrenaline rush was short lived and he figured out who is really worth, his W, you.

we need to find a good marriage counselor that we can see together. I don't even know if this marriage can be saved...but I'm willing to try.

DO IT ASAP, individual C is good, MC together is even better, don't delay, make an appt asap, the councelors most likely to be pro-marriage are christian (if you are one), pastoral Cs are great, mine is one.

You already have two good book suggestions, which have good sections about dealing w/a broken marriage. But for healing a great book I'm reading is "Healing the Hurt in Your Marriage: Gary Rosberg" it talks about how people 's M deteriorate, how to close the anger loop, pinpoints sources of conflict, I highly recommend it.

I know you both will do great!