Just a quick note: The OP, in all our sitches, really isn't the problem. They are the beneficiaries of the problems we created as H and W. I don't obsess about her much, my W is a big girl (just as your H is a big boy) and SHE chose to do what she did. Was it morally right? No, but so what. We're all in the same boat regardless of whether the act was moral or not. Was it moral for me to take my W and our R for granted, believing that a promise is a promise, end of story. I'd say, probably not. My point is that we are all human and make decisions and choices that are not always good for ourselves or those around us. I see my job now as to try and make better choices and show that we can be a great couple again. Time will tell! My advice is DON'T obsess about the OW, it's a cheeseless tunnel (just in case you are these days!).
