Quote: I follow GH's responses religiously but, honestly, talking with my W seems to me to be the best way to learn if I'm not doing something I should be, or am doing something I'm not.
**Talking** to W about this is not going to do any good. (I'm sure she hates having to tell you over and over how great your SL is even though it does nothing for her...) Different actions AT THE RIGHT TIME might. Try taking a look at PM if you really want passion in your M.
Likely, she doesn't think you are capable of being the kind of lover she wants even if you have the mechanics down pat. In her mind, asking you to change your sexual energy/persona is probably like asking you to grow three feet -- it ain't gonna happen.
No doubt, she feels incredibly guilty about the A(s?), the herpes, etc... This will CERTAINLY interfere with her sex drive. But, the problem in sexual compatability and passion predated those problems. Indeed, it led to those problems.
Moreover, the sexual problems are definitely coming from both sides -- she is not being authentic with you in some way sexually. I am certainly not saying it is all your fault.
The root issue of a passionless M needs to be addressed. GH is right that being a best friend is not going to make your W lust after your loins.
BTW, again, GH pretty much said what you were saying about his old SL. Now, he realizes just how wrong he was. It really is worth talking to him about it. Like I said, I just don't have the patience to beat my head on the wall about this right now
