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One of the things that has plagued me/us is my W's confessed lack of attraction and desire for me. In other words, mainly when we have sex




TL,

I think you need to look at it as a challenge and figure out how to become amazing in the sack. Start reading some books about women and sex (maybe even get some toys!!! ).

I'll be honest this area bothers me a lot. OW was younger and she was in a sorority in college so I imagine her as being MUCH more experienced than me.

So what I did was start reading about men and sex. I suggest you do the same (although women and sex, of course!!!). And then try experimenting and find out what turns her on. Also, ask her more specifically what she wants. And be AGGRESSIVE!

I don't know how true this is for all women, but I'd think showing sexual interest may get her inspired (so go pinch her butt and tell her she's sexy!).

Sorry if I'm being too graphic....

There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.