I have skimmed those two books, but haven't read em yet. They're on my list. With your recommendation, I'll get on em faster now.
The fact of the matter is, I was one mean, ugly sumb1tch to my wife outside of the bedroom, and I ended up getting pretty bad in there too.
Early on in our M, she and I miscommunicated about some "preferences" in the bedroom, some things she thought were interesting but not interested in pursuing. I wrongly took that to mean she really DID want to pursue it, and it freaked me out. Scared me at first, and I refused to do it, then started getting concerned that if I didn't give her what (I assumed) she wanted, she'd get it from someone who did. So many disasters followed.
So while she liked feeling a little like a "bad girl" every now and then, I ended up just treating her like a whore, and for some reason she never said anything about it, so I just assumed it was what she really wanted, and it snowballed out of control. She admits it wasn't just my fault, but that stuff started up when our communication everywhere else was lousy, so we sure couldn't talk about sex very well either.
Which is why I understand we have such a huge emotional gulf to overcome, even despite her A, and why I do something to treat her like a princess every day, so that she never sees me the other way again.
You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. -- Inigo Montoya, 'The Princess Bride'
