I agree wholeheartedly. I'm very fortunate...at least, I think I am. No matter how much I want things to be better right now, I'm really beginning to see that even two people wanting them to be better doesn't make it happen overnight.
My kids are doing great right now, I know that, and that is getting to be enough.
My W and I...well, it is what it is. I certainly am beginning to believe we have the potential for things to really be terrific and not be dogged by this stuff forever.
Mainly, I'm just tired of being tired. This stuff wears on you for so long that when you finally get to the point where you can relax...you don't know how, and it's even a little scary.
It's much harder for me to relax than it is to fight.
This stuff is all so draining, but I didn't realize how much energy it took until I started relaxing this past weekend with my wife.
I think things are great. I don't think I'll really be happy until I hear or see the right things from my wife, and I don't even know what those are. I know things get better every day but there's a corner we need to turn and we haven't done that yet.
I don't know if we will or not. Sometimes I believe we will, sometimes I believe we have, and sometimes I have some pretty strong doubts. I'm trying to keep them to myself though.
Things were going great this weekend but we happened to plop down on the couch to eat some lunch and watch tv...Big Daddy with Adam Sandler happened to be on, it was funny enough, but when he meets the old man who's been sleeping with his girlfriend, I had to leave the house. Sent me into a hole, so I went to the grocery store to get some stuff for dinner. Didn't make a big deal out of it, but it was one of those moments that just come up out of nowhere and make me want to open a can of whup @ss.
You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. -- Inigo Montoya, 'The Princess Bride'
