TL - I know the feelings you are having so well. You want so much to go back to he innocence of your marriage, and you can't. It has been stripped away and boy does that hurt. BUT, I am reminded that God will never give me more than I can handle, so not to disappoint my God, I handle it. My suffering pales into comparison of Jesus's suffering so I remind myself of this. I do know how you feel, my H is doing everything right. He is more attentive, loving, etc., yet.......I still watch him because frankly I still think he lies way too much. Little, insignificant lies, nonetheless, lies. He lies to other people, not necessarily to me. He really has a character flaw, he tries hard to make himself something he's not. A little advise that has helped me along the way and hope that it too will help you. I pray everyday that if God wants me out of my M, he'll reveal that to me. So far, He hasn't which is why I stay - it is exactly where I'm suppose to be. I have to ask, because I struggle with this and you sound like you are going through some of the same struggles. Do you think sometimes that God would show you a different path that leads you down a different road than being with your wife? Only because it's easier and that's what your wife deserves? I know I have those thoughts a lot, but then again, I do test the spirit and those thoughts aren't from God. I'm just asking as this is such a struggle and I wanted to know if we all have the same type of struggles.
TL, you and your wife can make this work. I've been recovering for a year and a half. It does become easier to block it out, but you have to continue to work at it! You sound like a doer.
