TL, It is going to take years and many opportunities for her to prove herself before you are going to develop trust again. Also it isn't your responsibility to build that trust it is hers. Either she is going to have the strength of character to regain your trust or she isn't. That is completely in her hands not yours. The stories that I have come across where the couple successfully survived an affair are the ones where they are both willing to be an open book to each other. She needs to understand that she betrayed your trust and she has to prove herself trustworthy. You cannot give her integrity only she can develop that in herself.

Also I don't know your whole story but it seems to me that your are going way over the edge with gifts and trying to win her affection. You are going to drive her away because you are acting like a desperate man. Step back. Be kind. but meet her half way. You are not going to be able to keep up the pace that you are setting.

It has only been a week. It is going to take many months possibly even years to get back the trust and love that you had before. Let her set the pace for now. Go with the flow. I understand from the things that I have read and seen that this is by far the hardest part of the journey.

All that patience that you have learned about up to this point, this is when you get to really learn how to apply it. I am not trying to put a damper on things but if you don't slow things way down you are going to crash and burn.

We would all really hate to see that.

ST

At the bar the Judge will not look us over for medals, degrees, or diplomas, but for scars. - Hugh B. Brown