Good weekend.

Now I just need direction in something. Here are the assets:

1. She tells me she loves me.
2. We ML 3-4 times/week, albeit on a schedule. Physically, works great, she orgasms, and I'm all about 70% foreplay, 30%, well, you know.
3. We date.
4. I take her shopping (yes, including Victorias Secret, although it's pretty tame stuff that she picks )
5. I surprise her occasionally with gifts (not expensive stuff most of the time, just stuff I know she likes, uses, runs out of occasionally. She seems to really like that).
6. Romantic stuff going on but mainly from my side and nothing too over the top right now.
7. We have a really good time together, laughing, clowning around. Wrestling, even. I always win, of course :-)

I know I'm thick-skulled, but I've never dated anyone in my life who was interested in me that I wasn't able to fan the tiniest spark into a roaring fire.

Previously, I was giving her space and she didn't like that. I was off doing my own thing most of the time, all the GAL stuff, mainly with my boys. But not pursuing. Then it seemed like it was time to pursue a little, and she was open to it.

Nothing I do seems to work however. Nothing that worked on her years ago seems to work now. Nor does the new stuff. I listen. I validate. I shoulder my fair share of chores and then some. I treat her very, very well. I do all the stuff listed above.

Besides that, I'm funny, and charming

From her side: No spark. Nada. No passion. No attraction.

Despite what she says she wants me to do, I'm thinking about backing off again.

Her lack of desire is killing mine. She plain just told me I was doing EVERYTHING right. Not only sexually, which isn't as big a deal to me as it used to be now that we've sort of got our heads together again, but in all the other things she says she wants/needs. I know I'm doing all the stuff she said she really liked about OM (listening without fixing, being supportive/encouraging, etc). She tells me I do everything right. Sometimes I wonder if that's a smokescreen.

Am I just being a whiner?



Last edited by toughlover; 10/23/06 06:06 PM.
You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. -- Inigo Montoya, 'The Princess Bride'