I get the feeling your wife appreciates you. I think she may be seeing you and your marriage in a different light and it sounds to me like she's thankful you've given her a chance, and are treating her respectfully in spite the mistakes she has made.

An interesting thing I once heard a popular radio psych say to someone who wasn't "in love" with their spouse is that by acting as if you are and saying the words, eventually you'll develop the feeling. I think that makes sense. Even if one isn't 100% there I think they can develop appreciation, friendship, and love in time (i.e. love being a choice).

The idea of loving someone taking practice doesn't seem that farfetched when I think about it. Learning other emotions (losing fear, letting go of anger, etc...) can be done with practice over time. I think love can too. Although I think intensity of emotions tends to be stronger and weaker at various times. Sometimes a particular thing (a song, photo, memory, etc...) can spark intense feeling.

I think her words and behavior are a good sign.

There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.