New Thread: Help! What Just Happened?

[toughlover]

I just got an ILY, I think? actually, 3 in the last two days, but this is the first "unprovoked" one.

My mind's still kinda fuzzy. It's one of the things I hoped to hear someday, but not this soon, and I'm not sure I trust it.

My W and I had a convo yesterday where I basically dropped the ball a little. She was thanking me for being great for the past few weeks and I just told her thanks but I was getting tired of shouldering most of the burden for this marriage. I told her I loved her and would always be committed to her and our M and our family, and while I wasn't trying to "punish" her for things not being exactly like I want them to now, I was going to have to take more time and money and do some things for me and the boys now, which was going to mean a little less time for "us" in whatever capacity we were wanting to spend it.

So she starts crying and says I deserve better than what she's been giving me. I say maybe I do but I've pretty much accepted the likelihood that I may never get that, and while I certainly would like it, don't really think I even need it anymore. Said nothing about my love and commitment to our M has changed but I'm not sitting around hoping for something that may never happen and I don't really need.

So this morning, I'm off work today, we send the kids off to school, and stay in bed and ML. Pretty intense for a change. Later she asks me if I still feel like I did yesterday and I said, basically, Yeah, I do. So she says, "Well, you have a lot to be thankful for and hopeful about including me. I love you and I think this marriage will be great."

So, (like the possible idiot I am, I don't know) I say, "Thanks, but I don't know how I feel about that and after all that's gone on, and all that's happened in such a short time, I can't start hoping and relying on that kind of stuff again right now. I think you're being great and doing great but I just don't know."

So she says, "Well then I guess I just have to redouble my efforts and prove you wrong."

I say, "I don't think you have anything left to prove. You're doing everything I asked for us to stay together and work on this M."

She says, "Well, I'm gonna do it anyhow" or something to that effect.

So, I go to working on my house projects, then run out to the home center for some stuff. When I get back, she's getting ready to do some church stuff then go to work.
Every time she passes me in the hallway she kisses me, and finally when she's leaving she stops me in the hallway, kisses me, looks me in the eyes, and tells me she loves me.

Now, she hasn't done that in YEARS. First time in my life I was struck speechless. I just stared at her. Man was I confused. I don't know why I didn't know what to do, but I didn't. I end up saying something stupid like, "You can't just start doing it like that."

I don't even know why I said that or what it means. She didn't say anything. When she finished getting ready and made it to the door to leave, I stopped her and told her I loved her. Always had, always will. She smiled and left for work.

Did I screw up? Is she playing games (doesn't seem to be, seems sincere)? I figured I was months away from something like that, something she hasn't really said on her own in years. I have a hard time trusting that.

What am I supposed to do now? I wasn't prepared for this at this point? That may seem like a stupid question but she NEVER initiates any affection with me, really, and NEVER tells me she loves me.

Luckily, she's doing church stuff then working til 6pm, so I have some time alone, to regroup.

My DB instincts tell me to not make a big deal out of it...you know, just move along folks, nothing to see here. Ignore it, conduct business as usual, and see what happens next from her side.

Yes? No?

I don't drink but I think I need one.