It was a mutual caretaking, giving, nurturing, nesting thing-- or something like that. It created a fun, affectionate, playful, relaxed vibe between us, that I interpreted as arousal.
I can relate to that type of activity. Being there and depending on eachother worked for BB and me for a long time.

That rather old book "Nice Girls Do"
Mine sits on a shelf right above this computer.

I still think it has some advice for you, Lil.

Lou