Thank you guys for the suggestions and for validating the healthy part of me. A few days ago I posted here that I am detaching from this issue, but now I am not...I am going to continue on with patience and hopefully growth. I am not going to make any waves in the current pattern, which feels healthy and healing, even if it's not producing passionate feelings. I will somehow figure out the passion part, but I am going with the flow for now. This is the first time in our marriage that we have had a steady sex life without major issues and tension. There is also so much less fighting in general here; I feel burned out from drama have little tolerance for it.
I see changes in my H...he has gone from being this pushed around guy going through the motions of life but feeling resentful, both at home at work, to becoming more animated from within and taking charge. The healthy part of me has always wanted this, so I have to monitor myself to make sure I am encouraging, rather than sabotaging this, because of my own need to compete and be in control.
D14 is going through midterms in school and actually prepared for it, instead of having a cavalier attitude. S12 actually asked for my help ( with no suggestion from me)in reorganizing his binders. I feel I am focusing better on them as well.
Getting back on track and concentrating on positives... thank you all so very much.
