Another good one is Arousal: The Secret Logic of Sexual Fantasies by Bader.
It is interesting to think of the non-sexual things that, if not actually turning us on, at least turn our minds in the direction of sex. When I was married the first time, I invariably started feeling frisky when we would pull up to the grocery store. I think it had something to do with the fact that we were soooo broke (I was a graduate teaching assistant, he worked in a body shop, AND we had a 60-mile motor newspaper route every day-- total combined take-home pay was about $300/month-- this was 1971)... anyway, we were so broke that when we went to the grocery store, we gave ourselves permission to be a bit looser in the financial department. It was a mutual caretaking, giving, nurturing, nesting thing-- or something like that. It created a fun, affectionate, playful, relaxed vibe between us, that I interpreted as arousal.
That rather old book "Nice Girls Do" that was so ground-breaking when it came out would be worth dusting off for some insight into this sitch, IHJ. It addresses how early events in life-- as early as in the crib-- and specifically NON-SEXUAL things-- can prime us for certain turn-ons.
And then there's one of my favs: "Reclaiming Healthy Sexual Energy."
