IHJ, since you're a creative, mystical type 4, why don't you give her the best of both worlds.
Say to your daughter, "I had an aunt who bolstered me through crazy times with my mother. You don't have an aunt like that in the flesh, but from time to time I may 'channel' my Aunt Mary to you and tell you what she would have said. For example, as your mom, I'm very unsettled by seeing you suddenly look so grownup with your short hair. Your mom thinks pink streaks are over the top, and, sorry, but I'm not ready for them. Now... (change your voice a bit, pull your glasses down your nose a little, if you wear glasses) Aunt Mary would say, 'I love the idea of pink streaks! But you've got to have mercy on your mom and dad a little Give them time to get used to the short hair first. They're a little bit behind the times, but they're really pretty okay....'" And then go on to say whatever Aunt Mary would have said to make the teenaged IHJ feel a little better and that she had been understood by an important adult who was NOT her mom.
