Your room sounds absolutely YUMMY! That sunflower yellow is my favorite color-- it's sort of a Provence sun-baked hot sitting on the terrace in the sun color-- love it. Maybe sometime you can persuade your H to christen the room (as it were).
I remember one guy I dated... he was moving into a new apartment. We went over to take a look at it and did it right there on the carpeted floor as there wasn't a stick of furniture in the whole place. (Alas, that was over 20 years ago...)
Today is my 20th anniversary! I was going to start a new thread, but since I tend to get overly sentimental and optimistic, I thought it best to stay grounded in the "Acceptance" thread. I came to SSM after a re-awakening of my sex drive, only to discover that not only was my H not excited by my discovery, he was downright rejecting. I had a lot of exuberance and was hurt by my H's reaction; I then began to understand the extent of emotional distance between us, a distance that couldn't be bridged by my newfound sensuality.
It's hard to summarize 20 yrs of marital dysfunction; I've tried hard to figure out the dynamics that led us here, but the main thing is that we were both at fault, and we both had a lot of learning to do. Suffice to say we had major issues communicating with one another ( his defensiveness, my shutting off), immaturity, poor role models, lack of boundaries, and too high expectations, leading to disappointment.
I found my sensuality first, and then saw that I became the Parent figure and my H the rebellious teen. I was in full working/mommy mode, and although H did his adult part as well, he was distant and sullen at home, while in the outside world projected the image of fun and success. I wasn't happy in the marriage and couldn't tolerate it any longer.
I found it frustrating that I couldn't find validation in my new sensuality. I wanted to explore this part of myself, and the lesson I learned over and over again is that I wanted to do this with my H. I realized I did love him, didn't want to lose him, and went to bat for my marriage. I bought books, made it here to SSM, got a MC, went on date nights...and the rest is chronicled here. There was a time that I seriously considered leaving, but along the way, H had the epiphany that he didn't want to lose me either, and began to reconnect.
We're at a good place now...I feel older, wiser, and truthfully, a little drained from it all. I think I was hoping for a second honeymoon feeling, but it's really not like that. But I'm getting to acceptance. And in time I hope we'll grow further. We have moments of recapturing what was lost, we have a man/woman thing going on, and I am so happy we are on the journey together now. I forsee a lot of stress up the road and hope we can walk the walk of that difficult path, remembering to have fun along the way. I have also learned to stay true to myself, to set my boundaries in place, and continue developing as an individual.
Thanks, everyone, for sharing this ride with me...I so appreciate being here. And happy holidays!
H and I celebrated last night by taking a limo to see a show in NYC, and he left this morning saying tonight will be even better!
Your H obviously adores you; I'm so glad you two are willing to trudge along and make things great. Have a great time tonight and just how fabulous was the show last night?? I bet you looked fantastic! (Journey and her H are a foxy couple, people, she sent me a picture once)
Take care and here's to ya and your 20 years: Salut!
Awwww, HP, you are so sweet! Oh... I have grown my hair longer since that picture, blow it straight, added red tones...yes, H isn't the only one who can have a MLC!
I did my best to look all sparkly, but, hey, I still need to use one crutch! Hopefully I don't look too geriatric...my teen daughter says it looks cool, but then again she does like House, with his cane and all!
As far as the anniversary night, I got the tkts, but H surprised me with the limo so I could stretch out my leg ( this is soooo not his style...really shocking, actually).
We went to see Les Miserables which has a powerfully emotionally storyline for a type 4!
It was a lovely night...as far as H adoring me, well, it's more like " I can't seem to rid myself of her and she can't rid herself of me so let's make the best of things," lol.
Quote: It was a lovely night...as far as H adoring me, well, it's more like " I can't seem to rid myself of her and she can't rid herself of me so let's make the best of things," lol.
LOL- Congratulations! I can appreciate your above quote because it reminds me so much of where I find myself in my marriage also on one of our more functional days. My H and I have sort of developed a habit of resolving fights by saying "let's just try to be kind to each other".
I do want to apologize for getting in your face on my thread. Imagine if Mark Twain and Virginia Woolf were contemporaries and Mark Twain had to write a review of one of Virginia Woolf's novels and entitled it "The Dry River Bed of Consciousness of Mr. Dalloway.". The frustration of being married to someone who is very intoverted and inward-gazing is that I sometimes feel like my own interior life is something "outside" of my H that doesn't have any importance. Therefore, I want to see the character that is your husband more fully developed in your writing of the story of your marriage/life. For instance, we have been friends/co-participants in this BB for years now and I only learned very recently that your H is thin. I've been imagining him as a man with a rather muscular build, like an ex-quarteback who kept in shape after high school. Okay, I guess what he looks like is besides the point. I want to know his dreams, aspirations, disappointments, likes/dislikes, habits, FOO history etc. etc. Make him interesting to me as a character and I bet you'll make him sexier to you as a lover. I sincerely hope that I am expressing myself in a way that is helpful rather than critical.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
I have to tell you, Jenny, that this was my first experience posting on a BB, and I found myself in a quandary about how much to post. On the one hand, I felt the need to maintain a sense of anonymity and privacy regarding my identity ( as if someone here could read this and say, Oh yeah, Journey, from NY, with 2 kids ages X and Y, she's does this and hubby does that....hey, I know who they are) while on the other hand I have posted intimate details of my sex life nonchalantly in order to either vent, get advice, etc. So there is a bit of stiltedness to my writing here, and the whole thing confuses me. I felt too awkward to post my pics when we were all doing that, yet sent a pic of myself and H to HP when I sent her MWD's DVD ( gosh remember that). The reason you know even less about my H is that at times I can get over my own stuff and get more personal, but I feel guilty revealing details about my H, although I apparently have no problem telling the world that our sex life doesn't rock.
I bet if you and I ( and others here) met in person we'd have a blast!
I know what you mean. I used to be kind of iffy about what I posted too in certain ways. The thing that kind of cured me of this was that during my brief investigation of the AdultFriendFinder site I discovered that there were quite a few men in my quite small town who had posted salacious pictures and other intimate details about themselves on the site. But it's like HP said about wondering if the picture she saw was of me, what would I have done if I had seen one of these guys on line at my local grocery store or post office? Walked up to him and casually said "Hi, do I know you? Does your son play soccer with mine? ...No ..Now I remember, I saw you on the internet. You're quite the perv, although nicely hung. Good deal on the pork loin today, huh?".
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
That cracked me up. It just goes to show ya - you never really know who someone is. At an extended family party recently a family member left a DVD behind entitled "Phattylicious" which my Mom asked if it belonged to DS15 (sounds like rap doesn't it?). I said no but asked him anyway and he said no. Upon asking around it turned out to be a porn DVD which belonged to one of the partygoers (who is in his late 70's/early 80's) - he claimed he "found it" in a hotel - aahhhhhhhhhhh yuh, sure!
(Alas, that was over 20 years ago...) 
and I only learned very recently that your H is thin. I've been imagining him as a man with a rather muscular build, like an ex-quarteback who kept in shape after high school. Okay, I guess what he looks like is besides the point. I want to know his dreams, aspirations, disappointments, likes/dislikes, habits, FOO history etc. etc. Make him interesting to me as a character and I bet you'll make him sexier to you as a lover. I sincerely hope that I am expressing myself in a way that is helpful rather than critical.