"The Enneagram Made Easy" says this about the 3. (This is a good starter Enneagram book, if a bit superficial.)
The positive direction for 3 is toward 6. Various quotes from the section on 3's:
Quote: When 3's move to the positive side of 6 they -spend more time with, and become more committed to, family and friends -value what's best for the group -get more in touch with their feelings -become more vulnerable
When 3's move toward the negative side of 9 they -procrastinate and become indecisive -become apathetic -neglect themselves and possibly numb out with even more work, drugs, food, alcohol, or excessive sleep -run in circles working or become less productive -passive-aggressively punish people who make them look at their shortcomings
Threes at their best in a relationship value and accept their partners. They are playful, giving, responsible, and well-regarded by others in the community.
Threes at their worst in a relationship are preoccupied with work and projects. They are self-absorbed, defensive, impatient, dishonest, and controlling.
What's hard about being a 3-
-having to put up with inefficiency and incompetence -the fear of not being-- or of not being seen as-- successful -comparing myself to people who do things better -struggling to hang on to my success -putting on facades in order to impress people -always being 'on.' It's exhausting.
