Okay, I am really recognizing a pattern here...when my H is "off", I become more HD. Then when he is back to his regular ways, I become LD. Our moods just don't coincide...instead they see-saw. I'd like to break this sexual fusion and simply enjoy an innate sense of sensuality. I think the way do do that is to keep to a schedule and allow whatever transpires to just transpire...stay away from expectation and validation. On my part, I am going to try to not be overwhelming when I am HD or be rejecting when I am LD. H's part is offering the regular initiations. In the long term this is probably the best we can do...have a steady sex life without all the weirdo up and down dynamics.
