If my H were to not initiate any time soon I would probably become angry BECAUSE I would feel like I had to initiate sex and he was forcing me back into the role of pursuer.
There is nothing like anger to really cause a person to focus. Even the most ADD person can get laser sharp concentration about what makes him/her angry. If this is about sex, then it would make sense that the pup is always primed.
However, the fact that I am aware of this natural tendency in myself lets me put the brakes on this reaction. I remember that nobody can "force" me into the pursuer mode except myself. I am free to choose.
I agree that you can choose whether to be the pursuer or not, but it is a lot tougher to control whether to THINK about being the pursuer or not. You will feel what you feel, no matter how you may try. As long as you think you should be the pursuer, thoughts about sex will creep in, and so the pump will prime, even if you consciously choose not to do anything about it.
Throw that responsibility out the window and therefore all thoughts about sex, and the drive will diminish, at least to a point.
