I wonder if they really "forget"? I think what happens is that when a memory is triggered they are just better able at pushing it out of their minds because they don't want to feel the pain. For me, I know I will think about it occasionally for the rest of my life. How can I not? This was the most disillusioning, life-altering, painful experience of my life thus far.
I do believe I've learned a lot and grown a lot through all of this, but I would rather have done all that a different way .
I went on a women's retreat this past weekend. What an extremely uplifting event that was. The night before I left, my H asked me if I was going to be worried about him over the weekend! You know what, that small statement made me realize that he really does understand at least a bit about what I've been through -- and he cares. I told him I was not worried in the least. I think that made him feel pretty good.
The retreat was by a beautiful lake up in the High Sierra's, so I knew I wasn't going to have service on my cell. I mentioned that to my H and he said, "Well, they'll have a pay phone, won't they?" He was letting me know that he wanted me to contact him over the weekend. We'd been on the road for a couple of hours when he called my cell just to find out where we were and if we were okay (there were 8 ladies with all of our junk piled into a suburban!). When I got home Sunday evening, he had dinner waiting for me.
My son's girlfriend's mother ( ) invited me on this retreat. She knows my sitch. After the blow-up in July, my son needed to be comforted by his GF, and her parents naturally got involved. I was very grateful for the support they gave my son. Anyway, I haven't laughed so hard and for so long (days) in years. It was so much fun. I also felt that once again I was meant to be at that particular retreat. On Sat. night the speaker came up and said that at the last minute she had decided to change her talk. She felt God was telling her there was at least one person in the audience who really needed to hear the message she was about to give. Honestly, when she said that I could swear she was looking right at me. The message was about overcoming disappointment and anger -- in God and in life relationships. Wow.
I wish I could share some of what she spoke about here, but it would take too much time. It just seemed to me that everything she spoke about over the weekend had a direct impact on me. I was meant to be there. That is very clear to me.
Just as an aside, this morning H said something about this past weekend and that he felt he couldn't even go to the movies because of what I'd think if he wasn't there to answer the phone! I knew it was his way of telling me that he hadn't wanted to put me through any unnecessary anxiety. I also knew that, again, he was letting me know that how I feel is important to him. The way he said it was almost in an "You don't trust me" tone. Now, I could have said, "Well, I have every reason in the world to not trust you," but I didn't. I didn't feel the need to state the obvious. He seemed kinda surprised by that -- kept looking at me for a reaction. I just kissed him bye.
.
) invited me on this retreat. She knows my sitch. After the blow-up in July, my son needed to be comforted by his GF, and her parents naturally got involved. I was very grateful for the support they gave my son. Anyway, I haven't laughed so hard and for so long (days) in years. It was so much fun. I also felt that once again I was meant to be at that particular retreat. On Sat. night the speaker came up and said that at the last minute she had decided to change her talk. She felt God was telling her there was at least one person in the audience who really needed to hear the message she was about to give. Honestly, when she said that I could swear she was looking right at me. The message was about overcoming disappointment and anger -- in God and in life relationships. Wow. 
