Andy,

You've been with me from the beginning. You helped me stop obsessing. And, I think I really have stopped Maybe? Hopefully? Yeah, I have.

It's difficult to go back and read what I wrote so long ago. I seemed rather naive back then. I didn't really know what the truth was at that point. I only just discovered the whole truth this past July. But, that's okay. By that time I was in a much better place to handle the truth. (Or the truth as my H saw it at the time).

Things are so much better I can hardly believe it. I wonder sometimes what would have happened if I hadn't stumbled across Michele's book in the bookstore (prebomb -- was just drawn to it for some reason), and then found this website listed in the back of the book. You and everyone else here pulled me through this crisis; made me see that there was hope. Sometimes even slapped me around a little when I needed it I feel such a strong affection for all of my "friends" here whom I've never even set eyes on. We've all come together under very stressful, painful circumstances and found a bond of friendship that might not even be shared with some of our "real life" friends.

I care so much for all of you.


Mattie

P.S. I'll be back later to post more about the "anniversary." H is home today (stayed in bed too long this morning ), so I don't want to spend too much time here. I also have work to do -- sigh.