I can't believe I'm posting this

[InHisHands]

What changed in less than 2 weeks from "tearful and remorseful" to "let's do threesomes and f*ck around with other people?"

You know, that's really the question, isn't it? I'm so confused because he is still tearful & remorseful. Even last night, before this fiasco, he started tearing up and saying that I deserve so much better, I'm such a great wife & all he did was hurt me, etc. I wonder if he thinks this is what I want???

Sex was VERY vanilla before with him. Not bad, just boring. Okay, bad. When he dropped the bomb I think he just figured he had nothing to lose, so he "cut loose" all of a sudden. He became more interested in sex and, since I couldn't talk to him any more, it was really my only outlet for everything that had built up. It was great!

Then he started asking about why it was so great all of a sudden and I told him I thought it was because he was being more agressive, not waiting for me to make the first move, and being a little more adventurous. The more we talked the more shocked he was to discover my sexuality, like it was the first he'd ever known about it.

I made the mistake of using the word "submissive" with him. I do prefer to be submissive most of the time. I'm the Finance Manager at a trucking company and spend all day every day bossing men around. When I come home, I'd like someone else to take control. Weird, I know, but it is what it is. So, I'm in charge at work, I come home and I'm in charge of the cooking & the cleaning & the budgeting & the planning & the kids and, yeah, it was kind of a turn off to have to be in charge of all the sex, too.

I remember him saying while we were separated, "God, sex with me must have been so boring for you." I didn't come out and say it and I tried to reassure him, but I'm wondering now if this is his attempt at making sex less "boring" for me???

We've been married 3.5 years. We dated 2 years before that. His first partner was his first wife. They met in college.

I think my mistake was telling him that I wanted him to "take charge" more. Now he is and it's definitely NOT what I had in mind. How can I stop this without proving that I don't really mean what I said? It's kind of my fault, I think.