I can't believe I'm posting this

[InHisHands]

Oh, sorry! Believe it or not, the above was actually the edited version . . . I had included something about the interrogations originally, but when I realized how long my post was, I edited it out.

I had kind of a checkered past before we met. I became a Christian when I was 30, but until then I had been involved in drugs and all kinds of vile and disgusting things. We met at church and I honestly believed that, for the first time, I had met someone who loved me for ME. Know what I mean?

Ever since he announced that he was "done" with the marriage, he has been more and more interested in hearing about my past. He knew everything before we married, but all of a sudden he's wanting details. I'm starting to think he married me in the hopes that my conversion wasn't real -- like he believed he was really getting the party whore. Maybe that's why he got fed up and checked out of the marriage. He's been a Christian (supposedly) all of his life, so I don't know if he's feeling some kind of sick jealousy that I lived the wild life and he didn't or if he's mad that I'm not still living it or what.

Anyway, I'm not proud of this. I'm crying as I type this because I had put all of this behind me and truly believed that I was forgiven and that I was a brand new person. I thought he believed the same. I guess there's just no escaping my past.