MATTIE!! I know how happy you are that your "old" H is coming back!! It's really a good feeling when you can see the changes in them!! As for the voices in your head...LISTEN TO THEM!!! It has always worked for you and when something is working you let it!!
As for what to do on the year "anniversary"....I wasn't going to mention anything about it to my H because I knew first of all he wouldn't want to talk about it and secondly I didn't know if he even remembered the date. The thing is that when I discovered the cheating he was out of town on this golf thing with the guys from the club and he goes there the same time every year so he would be gone again on the date of discovery. We were talking about his leaving on this trip the night before he was to leave and I told him I hoped he had a good trip and played well. I couldn't resist an attempt to try and see if he remembered the year before. So I said,"Hopefully this trip will be better than the last one. I know the homecoming will be happier!" He took my hand and told me that he would miss me and that he knew that things were so much better this time. He said that even though he'd be enjoying the golf,he would be looking forward to coming home to me.And he said that he KNEW that it would definately be a much happier homecoming! So he was away when D-Day hit. Even though it brought back very unhappy memories I had to say a thank you prayer that things were once again happy in our M! I also had a drink...I toasted me, toasted my H,toasted our M and our happiness and I even toasted the X-W*%&e (know that sounds strange but it wasn't a nice toast.... I told her I hoped she was miserable,I wasn't sorry in the least that she got hurt and I hoped that she hadn't tried to screw up another M since my H ended their sordid little brief fling !!) Sometimes I can be such a B*&#H !! The weird thing is that as time passes the evil thoughts I have of her have lessened. Now when I think of her I have really mixed feelings. But thankfully I don't think about her too often !! I try to really consentrate on the good things in my life and consentrate on my H and our M...the most important things!!!!
Only you can decide whether or not to say anything to your H about D-Day. Like I mentioned before...listen to the inner voice. Think about what could happen if you do bring it up. He could "shut down" on you and the man you don't want back could reappear!! He could laugh it off or he could get depressed all over. It would be stupid of me to say "don't think about it" because I've been there and you won't be able to stop the thoughts from coming. Just try to stay focused on the good that has come about since and go with whatever your heart tells you to do!! I'll be thinking of you and sending up prayers that things will go smoothly!!
Your Friend, Pat