I haven't post on my own thread in a few days mostly because I haven't really had anything to say, but partly because I've been very busy with work. I started a new project last week which took up a great deal of my time. I had no time to think about my M. I haven't felt so good in a very, very long time. There is certainly great PMA power in truely thinking only of yourself, even if only for a short amount of time. My H actually jumped in and helped me solve some of my problems with the project (mostly computer related). I gave him a lot of stroking for that. I know it made him feel really good to be able to help me. He was proud of himself. I was proud of both of us. We worked well as a team.
I did "slip" a little, though, on Monday. Last week he composed an email to the EA, which he showed to me in order to get my opinion on it. It simply stated how he felt he needed to put a very sad chapter of his life behind him; how he wants to reestablish himself as a loving husband and father again; how whatever feelings he thought he had for her started to diminish immediately when they (H and OW) were "discovered" which led him to understand that his feelings were not love -- love is what he feels for his wife and family; and that with our love and forgiveness and God's grace, he (my H) expects to achieve great things.
Well, that was last Tuesday and as of this Monday he had not actually sent it to her. I finally had to ask him about it -- I was getting really frustrated. I knew what the answer would be -- the same answer he always gives -- "I forgot all about it." Geeze. Give me a break. Why didn't he just send it immediately upon my "approval" (he WANTED me to approve of it, guys. Don't give me a hard time about that ).
I made mention of the fact that she was part of his thoughts everyday for well over a year (phone calls, cards, emails, etc.), and that I found it extremely difficult to believe that in the space of an entire week he wouldn't have thought about her at least once and that that would have triggered the thought of having to send the email. He told me he tries not to think about it (her) at all. I choose to believe that is because he feels very foolish about letting himself get caught up with her. I dont' know if that is true, but that is what I choose to believe at this point.
Anyway, he sent the email immediately -- forgot to copy it to me so I'd know he sent it!! Drove me crazy for an hour. I called him back at work and he said he'd "forgotten" to copy it to me!! He then did forward it to me so I could see that he did send it when he said he had.
I must admit that I'm getting really annoyed with him "forgetting" so much that is important to me. I realize that in his state of depression his mind is not working properly, but please!! Is it just me, or does he seem to only forget things that relate to me and my feelings?
Oh, at one point during the forgetting-the email-thing I told him it made me like he still hadn't "decided" what he wanted to do about OR. He replied with, "You're kidding, right?" I dropped it at that point. I realized my hormones were driving me at that point, and I needed to step back.
Other than that, things are moving right along. Tonight we're going to see "The Lion King." I'm really looking forward to it. It will be nice to do something different -- and in the middle of the week, no less!
). 
