Not sure what you mean by restitution. Sounds interesting. Please explain.
Pat,
Yeah, who would know what to say to me I feel like I'm being hit over the head with a 2 x 4 -- "don't you get it, Mattie? This person you trusted and loved has betrayed you 3 -- count 'em 3 times. Just how much abuse are you willing to take?" Even our kids tell me they'd understand if I felt I couldn't try anymore. It's not what they'd like, ideally, but even they think it's too much to bear.
KAW,
I understand what you were saying about the walking on eggshells while DBing until the R gets back on tract -- which is probably where we are now, except that because he's been diagnosed as being severely depressed I still have to continue to "be careful." I still need to coddle him and make him feel worthy. Well, what about me? When do I get some of what I need to help me heal? Oh, yeah, I forgot. I'm supposed to just take care of me, too. (Boy, that sounded a lot more sarcastic than I meant -- I think ) Thanks for your support and validation in my anger. Sometimes I get the feeling "anger" is a no-no in DBing.
So, last night I get angry and tell my H exactly how I feel. Today he can't stop telling me how much he loves me. He writes the e-mail I described above. And, oh, by the way, I just received an E-card from him -- really cute -- "Let's try again." Geeze. Why does it have to take me getting to this point for him to realize he has to DO something? Yes, I know, I know. He's depressed. He's in MLC. (Oh, by the way, was he in MLC or was he depressed 13 years ago with OW #1???) He's got every excuse in the book.
So, do I want to save my M? I'd love to be married to the man I thought I was married to for all these years. I'm really not sure about the man he's turned out to be. I suppose I must wait and see who that person turns out to be.
People say I'm strong for handling this situation the way I have. Really? I question if I'm not really just the opposite -- weak and afraid.
I feel like I'm being hit over the head with a 2 x 4 -- "don't you get it, Mattie? This person you trusted and loved has betrayed you 3 -- count 'em 3 times. Just how much abuse are you willing to take?" Even our kids tell me they'd understand if I felt I couldn't try anymore. It's not what they'd like, ideally, but even they think it's too much to bear.
) Thanks for your support and validation in my anger. Sometimes I get the feeling "anger" is a no-no in DBing. 
