I have seen some changes in his behavior. Not near enough for me to trust him. See the thing is, he's not doing any 180's. These men who are dead serious about convincing their S that they are changing is the huge 180's they do-they get their own C,and go by themselves. They offer reassurance without having to be asked for it. My H is not doing these things. He had a 2.5 yr affair. I am suppose to believe he broke it off in one day???? He promises me there has been no contact of any kind. I say fine. Show me proof. I deserve more than just your word when your word has been nothing but lies for 2.5 yrs! I know the anger would subside after awhile. Maybe he would be willing to break it off once and for all if backed into a corner. I know he does not want to hurt me and the kids again and be labeled a liar and cheat once again, but even though the anger would subsude it would be far less painful that having to live with the doubt and fear that he is cheating on me. My world has evaporated because of this affair. Sorry-I'm not as strong as some on here who seem to go on with their daily routines saying that the # 1 thing is to work on yourself. I say BS. I say the number one thing is to find out if your mate is someone you can trust and not waste away you life living with someone who is not willing to give you 100% of themself. I don't want to find out 3 yrs down the road that he is still seeing someone else. I want to know it now so I CAN get on with my life whatever that me be. My H has been my world-right or wrong that's the way it has been always. I was always his world too until this happened. If I'm no longer his world, if someone else is then he should be man enough to do what he needs to do. If I am his world and he just has some kind of addiction to her he better get it under control because I'm not sharing. She may be willing to , but I'm not. Thing is I know he does not want to marry her so why would ne risk losing everything for her? I hope all this is just speculation, because beleive me I don't want more pain than what I already have, but I need to know the truth and I know if he's been talking to her it will be on his cell bill. He could not call singular and ask them to take off certain #'s could he? I would think not but I don't know. He's been gone 8 days now and I've had alot of time to think. It's time for some action since I am the one with all the doubt. If he has nothing to hide then he should be more than happy to show the bills to me to give me that much more reassurance. I'm tired of walking on eggshells around him trying to be everything he needs and wants and him still finding the negative in me and saying no positve unless our c starts us out saying affirmations about one another. He never tells me I look good or sexy-he used to ALL the time. There's alot of things he used to do that he does not do anymore and I want to make sure its not becasue he's telling it to someone else. Rachael
