Show me a person whose S has cheated on them and who has not express anger then I can point to you someone who is not in touch with their emotions!!! We, who have been hurt by adulterous S, have all asked the same questions and you truly have to search deep in your soul to come up with the answers that are right for you. But keep in mind that if you decide to stick with it the anger will subside.

As far as the fear of whether S will do it again? Have you notice changes in his behavior that you have not seen before? "Doing what works...stop what doesn't" is for both partners. When they come back to R and reach the point where they decide they want to genuinely stay in R, then the roles will seem to reverse. You will see them doing 180's and you will doubt in they are for real! and then after time you will come to realize that they are and then will you get your validation that what they have done is behind the both of you. Is this the first time, he is consider C? If so and he stays with it, it will show this he is trying to make that change.

What this requires of you is patience. Frustrating as HELL...DAMN RIGHT IT IS but it is the pain we are required to go through if we desire to save our M...

My last post more dealt with your frustrations of feeling of tiptoeing on eggshells around him. While getting them to return to R our DBing can make us feel that way, after they return and decided that you both can now work on R, then there are other ways to DB so that we no longer have to feel like we have to tiptoe around how they feel.

Sorry if this seems a little disconnected...posting from work and keep getting interrupted...

'til later,
KAW