Mattie-I keep thinking what I'd do if I found out my H was still cheating on me. If I ask for an itemized copy of his cell bill and her # is on there then he is at the VERY least still talking to her which he has promised me repeatedly that he hasn't. I think I would tell him to make up his mind who he wants and act accordingly-if he can;t go without talking to her then I do not want to be involved in a threesome. I won't share my H. He would not share me if the table were turned. IT would then be totally up to him to do whatever. File for divorce,tell me its over for good and try to won me back in which case I don't know if he could becasue I don;t know that I could ever trust him again after the way he'd been lying to me. This may not even be an issue. He may be doing what he says he's doing. I have no way of knowing except those detailed cell bills.I am going to ask for a copy of them for the last 3 months. He's been home for 5 months. Your H sounds like he is giving it his all to totally commit to you. I know how hard it is for youto trust him if he has been unfaithful 3 times. My H has been unfaithgul 1 time but for a long period of time. I know he cares for her. I don;t know if he is in love with her. He tells me he loves me. This from a man who was sleeping with both of us and telling both of us that he loved us. HE says he loved us in different ways. Who cares?? He's MARRIED-he should not be telling another woman helovese her in ANY way. I was not going to bring the cell bill up but I decided it was fear that was keeping me from it. Fear of finding out he truth if he is lying and fear of how I would handle it. I have to be ready to face that fear head on. It would be better to know the truth than to live a lie and have half of a marriage. MY H is not doing allthe thigns yours is doing to prove to me that he is being faithful. He's not the type. He thinks he tells me once that should be good enough, but its not after the long deciebt. HE would have to face his children again and our friends and he could have the OW and all her bagage that he claims he wants nothing to do with, I know he loves me-my fear is that he lovese her too in some capacity. HE has allowed this to happen and now has to live withit. HOW he lives with it is my comcern. IF he is faithful to me he will eventually get over her and see it for what it was. If he is not faithful to me, he will lose me. I have no idea what I;d do or how I'd take care of myself, but I could not live like that-always afraid he was cheating on me. Your H is doing what I wish My H would do. Take responsibility to find out why and how this happened and do everything in his power to make me beleive that I could trust him. I think you should give your H another chance if you feel it in your heart to do so. He obviously wants you and is working very hard to let you know that. I hope and pray I don't have any reason to give my H an ultimatum. HE should have ordered that cell phone bill anyway even when I told him he didn't have to jsut to prove to me-but he didn't and now I'm wondering why. THis is so hard. IT should not be allowed to happen in marriages-the oain is too great. Keep your chin up! Rachael
