Well, Rachael, that's your answer. You're absolutely right. You have no control over what Adrian does, so stop torturing yourself. I really believe, though, that now that you know what he is capable of that you will be more "aware" of things. That's what I mean by "gut feeling". Most of us here trusted our S's so much that all of the little indications that there was a problem went unnoticed. Now, now that you are more aware you will be more intuned with your H and be able to head off any problems. Mind you, I'm not telling you to LOOK for trouble or warning signs. But, I'm sure if something is amiss you will certainly pick up on it more readily than in the past.
You have to get to the point where you believe that no matter what happens in your M, you will be okay -- you will be happy. Adrian should not be your entire life -- nor you his.
And, Rachael, it's only been 5 months since he broke it off? Geez, hon, give yourself a break. You're still really just in the beginning stages. Trust me, with time it will get better.
