Wish I had more time for the boards lately. Here’s my two cents on your latest:
Quoting matilda: So, does it make him feel bad because of what he's lost or does it make him feel bad for what he might have lost (me/kids/home/family/friends, etc.)?
Of course its about what he almost lost. He had a choice, and he chose you. Everything you’ve posted tells me that he feels bad about himself for what he’s done, and what he put in jeaopardy.
Quoting matilda: Folks, everytime my H says he has something to tell me I get this ache in my stomach. Hurts like hell.
Me too. I think we all can relate to that. He’s told you so many things that turned your world upsidedown. How can you not get scared when he has something to announce? But, as things get better, this too shall pass.
Quoting matilda: I am very proud of myself for not asking the question that was lurking on my tongue: "Why were you thinking about her and the fact that you haven't had any contact with her? Does that mean that you're missing her? Wondering how she's doing?" Nope. Didn't ask. Just thanked him for telling me.
An that just illustrates why we have to shut up. Had you asked, would either of you felt better?
Quoting rmccord: Don't they owe us a little peace of mind after the hell they put us through?.
You may be right, Rachael. Problem is that since you don’t trust him, there’s nothing he can say that’ll give you peace of mind.
Quoting rmccord: My H says it will just take time. It's been 5 months since he broke it off with her and I still feel horrible. I don't like living like this but I don't know what to do except take it a day at a time and look at how he treats me and maybe bring up the cell phone thing in C.
He’s right Rachael. Like I said, there’s nothing he can do to speed things up. Until you trust what he says, what can he say that’ll make you feel better? Hang in there, Rachael. It’ll happen, but like the boxer of my thread, you just gotta hang in there.
Quoting matilda: If they had such strong feelings for each other, how could it just end so abruptly
Because it was wrong, and he knows it. Even subconsciously, he knows it, and once he decided to put the stoppers on it, it was truly over.
Quoting pfroglady: My H has this uncanny ability to put things away in his mind and move on. Oh,I believe he does think about them from time to time but he wouldn't admit it !! It has been a long time since I have even mentioned anything about the past events. I know he likes that and I am sure he is feeling that I too have finally "put it behind" like he has. But that is a long way from being the way it is. I hate to admit it but there are still times when I find myself wondering if I can really and truly trust him!! I don't feel that way very often and I hate it when I do but feel helpless to stop it!!
That’s a skill I wish we all had LOL. But you’re right, Pat. If you bring it up, you’re sabotaging his “gift” to put it in the past. And the past is where you want it, don’t you?
Hope you have a wonderful labour day weekend, too.
!! It has been a long time since I have even mentioned anything about the past events. I know he likes that and I am sure he is feeling that I too have finally "put it behind" like he has. But that is a long way from being the way it is. I hate to admit it but there are still times when I find myself wondering if I can really and truly trust him!! I don't feel that way very often and I hate it when I do but feel helpless to stop it!! 
