My XH best friend is coming over tonight. I called him back and told him that I didn't want to go out, but he could come over here. So, I went out and got some wine, cheese, crackers, etc. - I'm such a hostess - so I'll know tonight.
I've got mixed feelings about this, but my gut feels like it's not going to be good. He's one of my XH's dear friends - total 5.
So, all day, I've been playing devil's advocate with myself. Then, defense mechanisms start working overtime: I really do like being single, I love my new house, I do not want to ever be in a relationship where I'm told I can't wear anything black or sexy, b/c he doesn't want his wife to look sexy. Heck, after the D, I bought nothing but black outfits, jeans, suits, b. suits, tops, etc. just b/c I could.
Then, I say, but I do love him, yes, if he has changed, I would want him back, etc. I'm rolling the Rolodex so much I can't anticipate anything anymore.
So, I'll you guys know...I'm going to soak in a bubble bath now, still thinking...
