No offense taken....your concern is completely understandable and a certain amount of anonymity is always prudent on the internet.
Now you have me curious as to how things turned out with XH's friend......very curious that he should call......
....and its a whopping 31 degrees here this morning
"Achieve success, but without vanity; Achieve success, but without aggression; Achieve success, but without gain; Achieve success, but without force." Lao Tzu
My XH best friend is coming over tonight. I called him back and told him that I didn't want to go out, but he could come over here. So, I went out and got some wine, cheese, crackers, etc. - I'm such a hostess - so I'll know tonight.
I've got mixed feelings about this, but my gut feels like it's not going to be good. He's one of my XH's dear friends - total 5.
So, all day, I've been playing devil's advocate with myself. Then, defense mechanisms start working overtime: I really do like being single, I love my new house, I do not want to ever be in a relationship where I'm told I can't wear anything black or sexy, b/c he doesn't want his wife to look sexy. Heck, after the D, I bought nothing but black outfits, jeans, suits, b. suits, tops, etc. just b/c I could.
Then, I say, but I do love him, yes, if he has changed, I would want him back, etc. I'm rolling the Rolodex so much I can't anticipate anything anymore.
So, I'll you guys know...I'm going to soak in a bubble bath now, still thinking...
AHH, 1210, you are in a unique position and a very tough one from my perspective....it seems you have a very level head on your shoulders, i'm sure it will play out exactly as you intend it to
SOOOO, at the very least you'll get to experience the cold for a day or two, HA! Sorry....i'm a little green with envy at those that are still basking in 70 degree weather....
...and Philly's not a bad place to be, as it stands, I think the weather is supposed to be calmer over the week or so, so maybe it will be a whopping 50 degrees instead of 30 when you visit!
"Achieve success, but without vanity; Achieve success, but without aggression; Achieve success, but without gain; Achieve success, but without force." Lao Tzu
Well, this was just a lovely evening. It started off well, I thought, but, then it went downhill.
It seems my XH is thinking of selling the house (what an idiot, the bubble burst down here) so that he can buy a new one with his girlfriend (OW). So, I told George, my XH can do what he wants, it's legally his, to do what he wants. I asked why did he feel the need to tell me and he said that my X and OW are planning to buy a house for themselves.
So, I asked George, are they getting really serious? He says that's why he came by, was to tell me it might be and he didn't want me to hear or find out and be surprised.
Then, he asked me how I felt. The only thing I could say that entered my mind was from a song by U2...I said did you come here to raise the dead? Stupid, but I said it.
He asked if I was angry with my X, I said no. But, I did not appreciate the fact that I found out afterwords, that my X was having an A and yet, I was chastized for my A.
Then, I thought, could DR work through my X's friend. So, I went on about how much I cared for and still love my X, but b/c of our jobs, we let our M fail...yada, yada, yada. It was sort of pulling myself out of a hole I dug.
He stayed for about an hour and a half. I asked him again, what was the real reason for calling me and he said he just didn't want me to be surprised. He said most of my X's friends don't care for her - she apparently is the sub- servant type. She was answering phones at his dealership. I laughed, it really didn't seem like his type.
But, George was nice and polite - he said that my X is going through a phase now (???) and he has told him that he really wished that it had worked out between us. I can see how my X is working on that now!!
Well, that's it in a basket...so much for the OW being a fantasy. Not.
I did ask George to let me know if they get M (I'll send a card) or if something should happen to him, let me know. He said he would.
So, I guess, I'm finished with all the DB / DR I can possibly do in my sitch...but I'll survive, I just have to continue on with my life...tomorrow is another day, I'll just have to get through tonight.
12102006, So sorry to hear this news. No matter how prepared you are to hear such a thing, it is still shocking and so deeply hurtful when it happens. You certainly seem like a strong woman and I know you'll get through it BUT you know you've got quite a few shoulders here to cry on if you need them. Take care, Number lady.
