TB-I know exactly what you mean. It's SO hard to trust them and then when they seem distant you wonder what is this all about? My H says I go distant-I have been trying with everything I have not to, and I've done a pretty good job of it-its when he does and I wonder whats going on I get quiet and contemplative wondering what to do and so he takes that as me being distant when I'm jsut reactign to his distancing. Hard to know how to act. I'm having a terrilbe time trusting again and have had to fight my way back from anxiety and panix atttacks when he left home for 6 months. Then I found out about the 2 1/2 yr affair he had and he broke it off and came home. Siad he had figured out she was not what he wanted-It took him 2 1/2 yrs to figure that out?? I knew soemtihg was wrong though and had asked him a couple of times if he was having an affair beasue he was SO withdrwan from me and angry so much of the time. Now he is not that way, but I still doubt him when he says there ahs been NO contact after ie broke it off. He said she was very angry with him-well, duh, she thought she had him, after all he had nmoved out. He never wanted to marry her,just wanted the attention and effection since I had shut down. He takes responsibility for his actions and reassures me whenever I ask him that there has been NO contact and there won't be. He tells me he loves me all the time but somehow I can't get rid of the mistrust. Somedays are harder than others. Today is a hard one even though we were intimant this morning and he came hom a while ago and told me he loved me again. I want to see his cell phone records to mnake sure he is still not talking to her. I think that would ne the most he would do but even that would be a lie nad I couldn't handle it. He promised to even tell me if she even tried to all him. He says she hasn't. Trust is so hard after all this that I wonder if I'll ever trist again. Rachael M.
