Muddle, there certainly is truth in what you've said. It's a good point to find five good things about your S when you find one that PO's you. We should remember to do that for ourselves as well. It's so easy to get down on yourself when the person you loved and trusted implicitly turns on you. It's easy to think "I must be the problem", it's so damn easy to get down on yourself (or just get down on the S or OP instead, which is no better). So whenever we do, I suggest, we also count all the good things about ourselves too.
I also want to clarify what I wrote about all the DBing in the world not making a bit of difference. What I meant was that until the S is in a mindset to accept the changes they won't be acknowledged and we can't put someone in that accepting headspace. But, through DBing we are making ourselves into the people that our S's will acknowledge as worthy of their love if that time ever comes. So don't get down DBers, it's a matter of laying the foundation and waiting for the builder to come!
P.S. 1210, I'm glad you're OK! Thanks for letting me know.
