Good question, OSU. I think when you aren't getting the response you want, it's time to try other things. In my sitch there were times when I tried to do things that I believed were loving but they were not what my W really wanted. Yes, she liked flowers but wanted more. I think a good clue for me would be if I was receiving affection more after these actions. I was not. This should have told me to do something different. I didn't because I was so committed to what I was doing that I didn't step back. She did tell me that she liked flowers but, again, if you are not getting the response you expect then it's time to try something different and that something different may be a bit uncomfortable. I guess my point is that it is easy for me to sit back and say "look how hard I tried" (and I did) I just didn't have the knowledge that I do now. Hindsight is wonderful, isn't it! In your sitch, you say it's un-DB to send flowers. I disagree. It's unDB to send flowers if it is harmful to your sitch and the strategy you have chosen. It's very DB to do things that she likes IF it gets a positive response. Obviously, if you are pursuing and it pushes her away you don't want to do that. It's never black and white though. She maybe liked flowers from you before (and the ones you left her early on in the sitch) but now may be a different story. Pretty confusing stuff isn't it!
