More truth, Muddle! Our S's are looking to the OP to make them happy and it just cannot be. Simple. We are in a position, as you say, to adjust to a new reality and make ourselves happy by NOT relying on the spouses actions to do that for us. It is a grand adventure in growing as human beings. Is it hurtful? Sure is. But, life isn't fair (that's one of the "Five Things We Cannot Change") and that's just the way it is. the sooner we get passed that the better. We deal with it. I've always wondered why we spend so much time on drilling the "fairness" concept into our children and our society when in reality it is really just a fantasy anyway!I don't mean this in a negative way but just as a witness to life. Maybe this fairness thing is the secular equivalent of the religious believers God. We are so devestated when something isn't "fair". Maybe we'd be better off if we just recognized that "fairness" doesn't dictate the happiness we feel or don't feel in our lives. Who knows. Good to hear from you again, Muddle. I hope everything is going as well as can be expected for you (even if it isn't fair! )
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