I think in desperation we choose to either be hostile and walk away or go overboard in trying to do stuff to make it all turn around. We become kind of co-dependent. Look at other threads and you'll see a lot of us so wrapped up in our S's and their every word or lack of word. We look for every way we can win their "love" back and in the process forget about ourselves. Even when we GAL it's hard to know how much is for us and how much is to change the sitch. I know I sometimes don't know. Today my W was late picking up the kids to go to an appointment and I had this urge to call the doctor and let them know she would be late! What the hell was that about? I didn't do it, but it's an indication of how it can just creep up on you. Trying to be nice, caring, go that extra mile can become a pathetic knee jerk reaction to every little thing. Why did I want to fix this? It's her task, she didn't ask me for any help so why the urge to rush out and rescue her from her own lack of planning? Things for me to seriously look at. I think I've gotten so used to trying to keep things manageable for her (due to her excessive work load and schooling) that it's become second nature. She takes it for granted anyway. So the co-dependent stuff is really worth a look, for me . I'm also trying to get a better handle on this detachment stuff...maybe I'll even try it someday!
