I spent tonite at the bookstore looking at some of the books that have been suggested by others here and some that seemed to fit the same themes. "Co-dependent No More" has a great chapter on Detachment, worth looking at again. I bought a book called "The Five Things We Cannot Change...and the Happiness We Find by Embracing Them" by David Richo. So for all you guys tired of reading my personal sh!t I'll share a little of what I've read so far. In the intro. he talks of the "givens" in life (which we try to ignore at our own peril) which are 1) Everything changes and ends 2)Things do not always go according to plan 3)Life is not always fair 4)Pain is a part of life 5)People are not loving and loyal all the time (I can think of one person off the top of my head )He writes " Each of the givens or conditions of existence evokes a question about our destiny. Are we here to get our way or to dance with the flow of life? Are we here to make sure everything goes according to our plans or to trust the surprises and synchronicities that lead us to new vistas? Are we here to make sure we get a fair deal or are we here to be upright and loving? Are we here to avoid pain or to deal with it, grow from it, and learn to be compassionate through it? Are we here to be loyally loved by everyone or to love with all our might?" Good questions to ponder. He further writes "When faced with one of life's givens, we might ask "Why did such a terrible thing happen to a good person like me? I deserve better." The mindful version of that question is: "Yes this happened, now what?" ...When we make an unreserved consent to the things we cannot change, we are saying yes to ourselves, as we are, in our ever unfolding autobiography." So good so far! I'm thinking it's time to take my focus directly off the sitch and put it more onto me. Who am I and what do I want to be? So if you want me to bore you with more of this stuff just let me know, if not...too bad, it's my thread, I'll write what I want to And Muddle, Ken Wilber's new book (not that you recommended it)is way over my head! I reserved a few others of his at the library. I'll give em a whirl cuz I'm open to "the surprises and synchronicities that lead us to new vistas". Thanks everybody for your thoughts and book suggestions.
P.S. Number lady, do I know SLOW! Thanks for checking in.
)He writes " Each of the givens or conditions of existence evokes a question about our destiny. Are we here to get our way or to dance with the flow of life? Are we here to make sure everything goes according to our plans or to trust the surprises and synchronicities that lead us to new vistas? Are we here to make sure we get a fair deal or are we here to be upright and loving? Are we here to avoid pain or to deal with it, grow from it, and learn to be compassionate through it? Are we here to be loyally loved by everyone or to love with all our might?" Good questions to ponder. He further writes "When faced with one of life's givens, we might ask "Why did such a terrible thing happen to a good person like me? I deserve better." The mindful version of that question is: "Yes this happened, now what?" ...When we make an unreserved consent to the things we cannot change, we are saying yes to ourselves, as we are, in our ever unfolding autobiography." So good so far! I'm thinking it's time to take my focus directly off the sitch and put it more onto me. Who am I and what do I want to be? So if you want me to bore you with more of this stuff just let me know, if not...too bad, it's my thread, I'll write what I want to 
