Thanks for all the input, guys. As some of you may know, I've been in this sitch for at least 3.5 years now. 8 months ago was "I'm having an A", the year previous was "I don't love you anymore" , the year before that was "I'm not sure how I feel about you (or the kids!)anymore, and six months before that was "I love you as a friend, father but can't say I do as a H" (that time I packed a toothbrush and left...for a few hours). It has been a long, long road and I have hung in there for every step of it. I believed there were reasons to hang in and the ones I outlined in first post where ones I felt encouraged about and "hoped" (bad thing apparently!) would push us into a better place. I have GAL'd and not to win my W but to make myself a better person. I take Yoga, aerobics, dance (with wife, should have done it alone, as I'd originally planned), have earned a green belt in TKdo, joined a wonderful church and go to meetings, learned to cook different ethnic foods (pretty well, if I do say), I can run 5 miles non-stop (couldn't run a block before!), I read and write poetry... and those are off the top of my head. But to sometimes sit back and, yes, grieve your loss is not a terrible thing. To wonder where it's all going is not a terrible thing. To feel anger, resentment and sadness is not a terrible thing. Now, that said, to let all that control your life IS a bad thing. Detachment is certainly a blessing, it can keep us going when all seems bleak. It's funny though because my W has practised detachment for a long time and I don't see it as particularly healthy for her, that's how she keeps her destructive lifestyle in place. I don't want to keep something destructive alive in my life endlessly if it's purpose is just to remain above the waves. SRT I'll check out the book, thanks! I know my W's moods tend to have an impact on my moods, as well. I have to learn to be happy despite her unhappiness. Maybe I can work it that the more unhappy she is the happier that makes me ! Maybe not. Thanks again for listening to my babble, guys.
! Maybe not. Thanks again for listening to my babble, guys. 
