perfection 2

[toughlover]

Always believing that you can never really know what's around the next corner. Even when things looked bad maybe... But there comes a time when one has to wonder about the sanity of continuing to do that.

[2x4]That's cause you're not detached, you're doing it from a manipulative standpoint where you do X so you can get Y and Z. The PMA isn't supposed to be you keep hoping that something better is just around the corner for your M...it's being able to have a positive attitude whether the M lives or dies. As you're doing it, though, it seems it's all based on seeing a return on your investment, but you're/we're in a sitch where we've got to invest a while before we see a return, if ever. That's the risk, but there's no other real choice. It's OK sometimes to do X, but do it as a gift you don't expect returned, not for any other reason.

I have felt exactly like you...seems insane...because I wasn't detached. Once I truly let go, I was able to focus on me and make progress on myself, strengthen my relationship with my kids. My W sees that and that has made a difference for us so far, though it's too soon to tell if it's permanent or not.

Patience. Detachment. Focus on yourself.
[/2x4]