Wow, I got locked out by Divorce Busting! Talk about feeling rejected Anyway, the hopeless feelings I have right now are based on seeing nothing more I can do in my sitch. I have always looked for the silver lining, for the next thing I can do...it keeps my PMA up. But lately I've looked at all the things I hoped would make a difference and nothing has. I had hoped that not going on the trip with her would help, I'd hoped that when her schooling ended (and it has) her stress would be reduced, I had hoped that when she asked for a work reduction at her job that would make a difference, I'd hoped that doing an activity together (dance lessons) would help. I thought when we ML that would have an impact. NOTHING has! In fact, she's gloomier and less interested in me than ever. So what's left? I feel defeated and begin to believe that maybe separation is the only way left to go. Am I supposed to just go on being the houseboy forever and blow her kisses each time she goes out with OP? The kids keep me from doing it right now. It tears me apart to think of the pain they will suffer. Can I justify it in my mind? What have they done to deserve this? Nothing. Do I leave them, even half the time, with a depressed person who will be dealing with more stress due to me leaving. It's just seems so damn immoral to do that to my children just because I'm not a happy camper! Yet, it also just feels so wrong to live like this. I also know that it's not just ending a M, it's ending a family. I'm in this deep hole right now and it seems there is nothing left to do but keep digging yet digging seems so pointless. Well, that's it from Mr. Happy for today. Sorry you had to read this! Thoughts are appreciated.
Anyway, the hopeless feelings I have right now are based on seeing nothing more I can do in my sitch. I have always looked for the silver lining, for the next thing I can do...it keeps my PMA up. But lately I've looked at all the things I hoped would make a difference and nothing has. I had hoped that not going on the trip with her would help, I'd hoped that when her schooling ended (and it has) her stress would be reduced, I had hoped that when she asked for a work reduction at her job that would make a difference, I'd hoped that doing an activity together (dance lessons) would help. I thought when we ML that would have an impact. NOTHING has! In fact, she's gloomier and less interested in me than ever. So what's left? I feel defeated and begin to believe that maybe separation is the only way left to go. Am I supposed to just go on being the houseboy forever and blow her kisses each time she goes out with OP? The kids keep me from doing it right now. It tears me apart to think of the pain they will suffer. Can I justify it in my mind? What have they done to deserve this? Nothing. Do I leave them, even half the time, with a depressed person who will be dealing with more stress due to me leaving. It's just seems so damn immoral to do that to my children just because I'm not a happy camper! Yet, it also just feels so wrong to live like this. I also know that it's not just ending a M, it's ending a family. I'm in this deep hole right now and it seems there is nothing left to do but keep digging yet digging seems so pointless. 
