It's tough when you feel like you are competing with an 18 year fantasy. My W's OP has been a friend for 5 years and the affair happened in the last year. "Friends" are wonderful because all that family, mortgage, bills and kids crap is left at home and it's just you and your friend, nothing in between. It's a completely different R than a H and W. I know when I go out with a friend I come home feeling energized and happy but if I had to spend my "real" life with that person we'd probably be in the same boat as I am now. It is impossible to convince your W that this is "fantasy". It feels damn good to her and she wants more (and my W got more!). The OP says all the right stuff e.g. "go with your heart" (don't worry about your f'ing brain!). It's tough stuff to deal with. So, as I have been advised, don't compete cuz you can't beat a fantasy. Just go with doing what is right and what will make you a better man and you'll come out a winner, with or without your W.
