Linda, I wish I could explain your husbands resistance on the locket issue. Did you not mention before that health was an issue with him? Is it possible that he truly is fearful for his physical well being in going to his former roommate to ask for the locket?
For a man, a sign of physical weakness is difficult, particularly with our spouse. I would never want to appear afraid to Annie. I've never faced a situation where I felt unable to step in because of physical fear, but if I did, I would feel quite a bit of shame. I can only suggest that it might do your husband well to hear you acknowledge his fear, if you're convinced that is the major issue in him not trying to retrieve the locket.
Would he be open to you accompanying him to go get the locket? Is that something you would be comfortable with?
I feel for both of you on this issue. For you because clearly there is great significance with both the locket and your husbands unwillingness to go after it. For him because I can only imagine how it would make me feel if I had to tell my wife I was physically afraid to go get something of such value to her.
Husband is still in a tender state, yes? But on the other hand, you allowed and supported his "passion" for the coffee machine. You're well within reason I think to ask for such support from him. And it would be good for him I think to take this step, particularly if it's a difficult one for him.
I'm reminded that so many of you speak to the gentleness with which returning spouses must be handled. It sounds like you're trying very hard, but this is emotional for you, and we all know how emotions can carry us to places we wish later we hadn't gone.
Tread lightly Linda. Be sure that you're not asking him to show painful weakness in front of you. If there's a way to ease him into this, or help him by standing beside him, that may bear great fruit for both of you.
Hope this is helpful. I'm sorry for the bump in the road, but I know if anyone is capable of navigating through it, you are.
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
