M: W, I'm going to stop at the store on my way home because we need bread for lunch. Would you like me to pick anything up for you? W: Have you been eating my cereal? M: Yes, I had a bowl. W: Well, get another box, and I want you to know that I ration out my cereal, so I'd appreciate it if you plan on eating my cereal that you get two boxes. Otherwise get a different kind for yourself. [A week or two ago it wasn't a problem if I had some, and there was still some left when I got home with more] M: Ok, I'll grab a box. Can I get you something for lunch? Would you like me to get you something in particular? W: No. But there's nothing really here for me to eat. If I don't tell you what I want you're not going to get anything for me, are you? M: No. I'm leaving here in over an hour. If you think of something you'd like, let me know. W: That's a lot of pressure. You don't know me at all, do you? In 6 years together, you don't know what I like or what I need!
Well, that's it guys - I can't predict what my W will want to eat this afternoon, so I'm an incompetent husband. It's pretty clear that she doesn't know what she wants either, yet it's easier for her to blame me for putting her on the spot and giving her these bad feelings (I think she has some sort of eating disorder, because she eats only a very limited diet and she doesn't eat regularly - she doesn't take good care of herself and her needs aren't a priority - to her, not to me).
“No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ” – Albert Einstein
