The past couple of days W has been crying while IMing with OM. Not sure where this is headed, and even if the affair ends, it says little to nothing about the future of the marriage. I'm not really sure what to think - the ball's still in her court. I think if the affair ends I will have to do a great deal of re-reading DB and DR, because I will have an entirely different perspective, if I still want to influence her to stay married.
Well, as you say Whatis, I have to keep focused on what needs to be done. That's what I'm doing and what I plan to continue doing. I am going to keep all the pressure off my W, but be there if she wants to talk. It's hard because I feel that she's made me into a monster that she doesn't trust or even want to trust. Now I have to convince her that she's wrong - what a losing battle!!!!
At least we have a forum to discuss things. I think this therapist will be good for us both, but I'm not sure whether that experience will counter the other influences she has in her life that she thinks are really supporting her. It's not worth thinking much about because in the end she will do what she will do. It's so rough to be in this place, this limbo (of my own making), because I'm projecting images of what the future holds. I know none of them are accurate, and there are so many potential outcomes, but it's difficult not to try and fixate on one of them. I haven't been, I'm only living in the moment in the relationship and looking ahead for myself and my boy. It's just so sad to see my W, now 10 months into her "awakening" with nothing to show for this all except pain, destruction and a new bedroom. Hopefully she's come away from this with some deep insight into herself, real honest self knowledge. I know I have.
Blah blah blah.
“No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ” – Albert Einstein
