We had our second therapy session this morning. I think the therapist is really perceptive, and I thought the session was great. We covered a lot of ground discussing some ways we both sort of confuse the roles of our spouse with our mother/father because of the traits that we are attracted to through the model our parents were to us. We did discuss a number of other issues that the therapist namely taking responsibility for communicating needs and wants in the relationship rather than assuming they should be taken care of and building resentment when it isn't. When we left I could tell my W was angry. I asked her about it and she said "it doesn't matter", but then told me that she felt blamed. She said that she made sure to use "I" terms, which I thought I had been consistently as well. I validated her feelings, but in the end, it didn't make much difference to her. She placed the blame for her feelings squarely on my shoulders and didn't for one second think that I had been talking about my feelings in factual situations that made her feel like the bad guy. So her defense is to blame me. So she blames me for blaming her for blaming me ad infinitum. I don't know why I keep seeing hope when we talk through our relationship, but it's there.
“No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ” – Albert Einstein
