My in-laws are well aware of my intentions. Up until recently I had their support (both sets - her parents are divorced and both remarried), but it seems that now her mother is buying into W's justifications. I guess it's more important to be close to her daughter than to stand up for her convictions. The trouble is that by the nature of their relationship they affirm all the bad things that they project onto other people. Oh well, you can't change the way other people see the world. I think I still have the support of her step father and her real father and step mother, but in the end it doesn't really matter. Either it will just contribute to her overwhelming sense of guilt on conscience and pressure her to run or it will create an us and them situation.
You know I have done so much reading on the subject and all the statistics point to a really strong likelyhood of divorce in sitch because of factors in my W's life: her parents are divorced, several people she told about the affair initially responded by telling her of their own affairs (including someone very close to her), validating what she is doing. She's know hanging on to the mantra: what's right for me might conflict with what's generally held to be right for society. Well yeah, but is that right for your child? Your parents? Your brother? Your true friends? Your child's friends' parents? Your child's father that your say you want to have a close relationship with? Well, it's her mess to figure out. I just continue to be torn between thinking that my decision has already been made regarding my mate and thinking that I should just get beyond this, meet someone who better aligns with my ideals and start anew in my life. I don't want to suffer through years of this only to find that we have an empty marriage that doesn't satisfy either of us.
“No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ” – Albert Einstein
