I too have spent a great deal of time trying to keep things off my W's plate. yes, she resents it. She once said " I feel like I'm not a member of the family, all I do is bring home money and yell at the kids" I did offer to give her more responsibility and she said "I don't really want to do these things, I'm just talking about feelings here". I felt I was doing something loving by taking on so much but somehow it made her feel alienated. So I understand your bewilderment at what part you have played in her depression. I wonder too, am I contributing to it or keeping her from going off the deep end and in turn getting blamed by her for issues she knows are hers but can't face. Who really knows. I guess we just accept where we are and carry on.
