Muddle's Waters V

[MuddleThrough]

Another thread locked ( Last Thread ). It was a decent weeekend. We took S4 on a really fun outing and that made everything worth while.

This morning W and I were going to S4's school for a harvest party (all the kids in costume and singing songs, etc). I went to take a shower and afterwards got yelled at by my W because I hadn't asked her about how we were going to work out 2 showers in the morning. I basically shut her out all morning. I really pretty much ignored her. Her arguments were all basically saying "why didn't you check with me to see what I wanted to do?" If you wanted something, you should have made it known - there's no way I'm going to check with you to see if you want to arrange something with me. She then puts this under the umbrella of courtesy, saying I don't comunicate and I'm not giving her simple courtesy. To me this is all about her not taking responsibility for her own needs. She didn't get done what she wanted to do, how and when she wanted to so she needs to blame me. Silly. I'm done catering to this stuff. I don't have anything to apologize for. It's crazy. So I'm going to completely ignore this manipulative nonsense. I don't really care if I come off as P/A. I am happy to comunicate and discuss anything she brings to my attention, but not when it comes to blaming me for something I could have or should have done. I'm not interested.

On Friday, W told me that she was going to the store on Saturday morning to grab snacks for our outing. I went to my MIL's to work on the car. On the way home I stopped at the store to grab a 6 pack and I got my W's favorite pastry breakfast as well as some cookies. On Saturday I got a call - W screaming at me because I didn't pick up the snacks while I was at the store. W wanted to be in control of what we got, and she was planning to go, so I didn't make her do anything she wasn't planning to, and on top of that I got her something she likes! But I could have saved her time by getting in touch with her and picking up what she wanted. I know this and she does too. She's angry that I didn't - I guess she still hasn't accepted the difference between husband and estranged husband. She expects the same out of me as if she were my wife and that's where her hurt comes from. She wants everything her way - she acts like she's entitled to everything she's ever gotten from me and still doing whatever it is she's doing. Well, I'm not going to allow myself to give in a way that creates resentment. I will only give what I want to give as a gift, nothing out of obligation. If she can't look upon my gifts as gifts, then she's the one missing out. I'm tired of being told what I should do, or what normal people do, etc, in a sad attempt to make me do something differently because she expects it. I am who I am, and I certainly welcome opportunities to grow and learn, but I am not here to be molded by someone who clearly has no sense of what's good and right in life.